A Living Hell
by NM Radcliffe
Summary: He is empty, he cannot feel anything but the bottomless pit of sorrow since that day. Little does he know, he can be helped, but by whom... Initial pairings will change.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: _as much as I'd love it to be true, it isn't. Harry Potter is not mine, the plot is mine, any new characters I create, is mine, but my beloved Harry Potter is not mine..tear.._

A/N: This is the prologue and takes place 4 months after where the actual story will start, its necessary that I put this here. PLEASE REVIEW! And no flames to those of you with nothing nice or constructive to say.. This will be short, but the chappies are longer 3

Waking up had never before been as much of a problem for Harry Potter. Well, not until a certain June 8th, 1997. He felt like hell every day and had absolutely no real reason to wake up, and yet, his body forced him to. It seemed as though it did it purely out of spite, just to mock him in his misery. He was hardly eating, and yet was never truly hungry.

Reluctantly, Harry somehow always managed to find the energy to get up. He did so right then. He sat in a comfy chair about 2 yards from the bed. There on the desk, was a blank piece of parchment. He'd been trying for days now to write a letter to Hermione, letting her know he was alive and well. He grabbed a quill and ink and sat there. Harry waited, seeing if today would be the day that the words would come to him. He hadn't the slightest idea as to what to say to her anymore.

As though struck by a lightning bolt of inspiration he lowered the quill to the paper and began to write. The writing was slow at first, but the Harry allowed himself to get everything he needed into it. He signed his name at the bottom only half-heartedly.

Sighing, he picked up the parchment once it dried. He debated on reading it, and finally came to the conclusion that he should.

_Hermione,_

_..How are you? I-I'm holding up. I guess.. I've tried countless times to write to you but never knew what I should say to you, or anyone else for that matter. For all I know, you all resent me for what happened. I wouldn't blame you one bit if you did, seeing as it **is** my fault. Anyways, I know its been three months and all, but I'm not sure if now is the right time for me to come back. Let's face it, I can't leave until I accept what happened, and I have yet to completely do that. I doubt any of you have either.. Send my love to everyone. You will see me soon, I'm not sure how soon, but well, I just need time to heal._

_All my Love,_

Harry 

Harry looked over his shoulder at his aging owl. She knew it was time to fly something, and welcomed the chance to leave this place. "Take this to Hermione." Harry instructed her. He reached out and smoothed out the feathers on top of Hedwig's head. She nibbled his finger affectionately and then flew out the window.

Harry stood up and turned. His dresser was virtually empty, save for a few pictures. His gaze rested on one in particular. He felt a lump form in his throat and his eyes began to water. He wiped the tears away and turned the photo upside down.

He trudged over to his trunk and removed his father's old cloak. He placed it around his shoulder's making sure no part of himself was showing and sat in the darkest corner in the room. He let himself think and cry and wallow. He needed to do this only when he was invisible, because invisible was all he saw himself to be anymore.

A/N: So there you have it, my prologue. First chapter should be up within a week; I will try my hardest to get a chapter up every week. Just be patient with me and review like it's the last thing on Earth you can do. It is greatly appreciated. LOVE FROM, _ELIZABETH SPARROW_ 3.


	2. The Dream

Disclaimer:_ I, regretfully do not own Harry Potter or anything in that amazing world, as much as I'd LOVE to………sad. _

_THANK YOU TO MY WONDEFULISHIOUS REVIEWERS! I love you guys forever!_

_Chapter one: _ **Confusion..**

" Harry, shouldn't you tell someone about your scar hurting?" Hermione said to him for what seemed like the thousandth time that night.

Harry looked at her frustratedly, "Like who Hermione? Sirius? Whoops, I forgot, he's dead. How about Dumbledore, nope he's dead too, ok Hermione, I HAVE NOBODY." Harry said shouting as he charged up the stairs to his dormitory. Ron stood up to go after him, but Ginny pulled him back down.

"Let him go. He'll come back down when he's ready. Just give him time, I had to and I at least got him back for now. But, Ron, try and see it from his point of view, ' any person he gets close to either leaves him, or dies'. He can't handle it now, especially with this whole Voldy thing." Ginny said calmly. She had learned to deal with her boyfriend's mood swings, but lately something was different and she didn't know what exactly it was.

" Ron, dear, please, just let him settle down for awhile, I mean, we are one horcrux away. He's obviously stressed about finding it. It's the second to last step. Not to mention, he's been stressed about his N.E.W.T.S. He isn't doing as well in Transfiguration as he'd like, and I'm helping him with that, so just be there for him when he needs to talk ok?" Hermione said holding Ron's hand. After what seemed like a lifetime, Seamus, Dean, Neville, and Harry had _finally_ gotten Ron to ask Hermione out. Ginny had told Harry of Hermione's feelings for Ron. Now the couple was almost inseparable.

There were a few moments of strained silence before Ron said he was going to bed. He wasn't in the least bit tired, but he wanted to check on Harry. He slowly trudged up the stairs to find the dorm door shut. Tentatively, he knocked. " Harry? Is it ok if I come in mate?" He heard shuffling from inside and then the door opened. Harry had obviously been crying, but had made an effort to hide it, so Ron made no mention of it. " Are you ok then? I mean, do you want to talk about it?"

Harry looked up at him with sad eyes. " I don't know what's going to happen, Ron. I can't have any of you there, I can't lose you." And then Harry did something Ron had never seen him do. He broke down sobbing at the thought of losing his friends.

Ron stood there awkwardly for a moment before coming to his senses and giving Harry a hug. Harry was in almost every sense, another of Ron's brothers. Losing him would devastate him. That was why he said what came next. " Nobody's going anywhere, and we wont lose you either, we are helping no matter what. Understand?" Harry nodded and they broke apart. Harry laughed and wiped at his eyes.

" Damn, I don't know why this keeps happening. I mean, maybe the day is nearing, when..when I face him, once and for all. But, in any case, I'm bloody tired, shall we turn in?" Harry said as he turned back to his four-post bed and pulled his shirt over his head. He turned and smirked at Ron, "How's Hermione doin'?"

Ron stood there for a moment, thinking of how to counter Harry's teasing that they had finally gotten together. He laughed, " Since when do you work out Mr. "I want to look like Malfoy"?" Harry gave him a questioning look as Ron pointed to Harry's toned mid-section. Harry just smiled.

"What are you jealous or something? You'd think Hermione would want you to have a Quidditch body too." Harry said as a pillow was thrown rather violently at his head. He laughed and grabbed another and threw it back in the direction of Ron's laughter. He smiled when he heard a grunt, knowing he had hit his target.

" Uhm, what exactly aren't you including us on?" came a voice from the doorway. The Irish accent immediately told Ron and Harry the Seamus was standing there. Accompanying him were dean and Neville, all of whom were smiling. As Neville stepped forward, a pillow was thrown at him making him shriek for a moment before sending another at Seamus, who ducked, causing it to hit Dean right in the face.

This all continued for about another 10 minutes before they got too tired. They all lay down and quickly fell asleep. Harry's sleep though, was to be plagued by a terrible dream.

Harry was in a graveyard. There was fog swirling eerily around each gravestone, giving Harry an uneasy feeling. Something wasn't right. To his left, a gravestone somehow caught his eye. He meandered his way over to it and bent down so he could read the engravement on the stone. When he read it, he gasped.

_**Here lies Ginerva Anne Weasley**_

_**1981-1997**_

_**Missed Daughter, and Sister.**_

_**Forever will her soul fly..**_

_Harry felt his heart go numb, he couldn't see or think at all. He ran as fast as he could in the opposite direction. He ran as fast as he could until he ran into someone. Reluctantly, he looked up and saw a pair of glowing red eyes. The air rang with icy laughter as _

Harry's scar seared with unimaginable pain as he woke up screaming. Sweat poured down his face as he remembered the gravestone. He got up and ran to the common room in the direction of the Girls Dormitory. His relationship with Ginny would end now.

A/N: HA HA HA HA HA HA! I am a maniacal genius! P.S. I refuse to tell you if that dream will be a reality, only that Harry will have a new love by the end of the story…MY FAVORITE SHIPPINGx8432345786345047! Much Love From, _ELIZABETH SPARROW_


	3. When it All Falls Down

Disclaimer:_ There is a world somewhere where Harry Potter is mine, I own it there, but here, in this world, its J.K.'s. damn. _

_**A/N**: _sorry it took **so** long to update my loves, and if u read this story, please review, please? And I have a fantastic friend that inspired me to update again. _**Thanks Blake** _.Well, here we go, Chapter 2!

If one were to meander their way up to the fourth floor and go into the empty classroom on the right hand side, they would be sure to find a howling mass of shaking red hair. Ginny Weasley sat there, crying, for her boyfriend had just said that he could not be with her now or ever, and nothing she could say would change that.

And so, here she sits, crying. She had long ago told Hermione where she would be if she was needed, yet nobody came. Least of all Harry. Thinking of him brought her to more shaky sobs. She didn't understand why this had happened. They had been doing fine, no, _better _than fine. Yet, she was the one sitting here feeling every ounce of sadness within her. She could feel herself falling into a black hole. She felt her hand feel her chest, to make sure there wasn't a hole where her heart should be. It certainly felt that way…

Harry sat in the common room, staring blankly at the wall. He had done it, he had truly done it. He had lied to Ginny in order to keep her safe. He broke her heart, and broke his own. Now, he sat in front of the diminishing fire in the common room, staring at the wall. He felt nothing, no happiness, no regret, nothing. He had told Ron about it. Ron had been furious at first, but had settled down after Harry explained why.

Harry heard the portrait swing open, but did not turn. Tiny footsteps could be heard approaching Harry, but he still stared at the wall.

"Hello Harry." Said a dreamy voice. The voice sat next to him.

"I can't think Luna." Harry said. He had no desire to know exactly why she knew the password to Gryffindor Tower. "I don't know what is happening anymore."

"My father once told me of an old traveler who never spoke a word, but yet seemed to have the most profound ways of conveying her emotions. Hard to say exactly what she did to communicate, but she was a wonder. You remind me of her. You have more depth than you let on. You don't need to be shy around me. You know I am not one to judge." Luna let her hand rest on his shoulder. A shiver went down his spine at the weight of her fragile hand.

He Let his gaze finally wander from the wall to her. Her eyes had no quirky twinkle to them. Her face was paler, and it looked as though she may have been crying recently. "You really are incredible Luna. Thank you."

She smiled and got up. "You know where to find me." And with that, she left, leaving Harry in a contemplative state of contentment.

A/N: sorry it's a wee bit short. I've been getting scolded lately on cliffy's and so I must stop here in order for there not to be one. Reviews are appreciated.


	4. His Darkest Truth

_Disclaimer: **No matter how many times I scream it to them, the funny men in white lab coats never seem to believe me.**_

A/N: We'll see who ends up together; you never know how the wheels in my head turn. He he!

Hermione Granger is the type of person to feel empathy and help others in their lapse of emotional contentment. Ginny just so happened to be in need of someone like that at this very moment.

Hermione was sitting on a chair across from Ginny. She had managed to subdue Gin's crying to mere sniffles, but yet hadn't discovered what had _really_ happened. She wouldn't push it though, for she knew Ginny was emotionally unstable right now.

"Ginny, why don't we go down to the Kitchen and get something to eat?" Hermione suggested tentatively. Ginny got up and wiped her eyes.

"Alright then, shall we go?" This got a smile from Hermione as they left the room.

"Father, how many times do I have to tell you, I don't want some freaking snake tattooed on my bloody arm?!" Draco screamed at his father during their latest argument over Draco's loyalty to the Dark Lord.

"Perhaps you are forgetting who you _serve._ Your loyalties lie with the Dark Lord, and you will show your allegiance by getting that, as you put it, ' freaking snake tattooed on you bloody arm'. AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR?" And with that, a stick slapped Draco across the arm.

Draco fell to the ground. He didn't bother fighting back anymore. It only made his father hit him more. He sat there staring at the floor for a moment until Lucius stalked away and slammed the front door behind him. Draco slowly got up, not taking his hand off his throbbing and swollen arm.

He found his way to his room and collapsed in a heap on his floor. Knowing nobody was home he broke down into sporadic and choked up sobs. After nearly twenty minutes of it, he regained his composure and stood up.

He removed his long sleeved black shirt and walked over a mirror. A light purple bump was beginning to form on his upper right arm. He conjured up a small bag of ice and put it against his newest bruise. The ones on his ribs seemed to be healing. Kind of. The deep purple they had last week was now only a light blue-ish black.

He meandered down the stairs in the direction of the palatial kitchen on the 1st floor. He sat on one of the silk lined kitchen table chairs. He summoned a bottle of muggle medication he bought months ago. He popped 2 pills into his mouth and swallowed. These odd pills seemed to numb the pain he felt. Yet, the emotional pain remained. Perhaps it would go away, with time.


	5. A Rather Odd Way to Mourn

Disclaimer: Ok, I get it already, lying to editors saying I am the real J.K. Rowling is wrong. Thought I think I had one on the verge of believing me…

**_A/N:_ Wow over a month, but I'm back!! I guess looking at fan art really is an inspiration. Well here we go then! Review!!!!**

It had been a week since the infamous Harry and Ginny breakup. Neither had spoken a word to each other. Ron and Hermione made sure on all occasions to sit between them during breakfast. Hermione sensed that Ginny had gained a hatred of sorts towards Harry. Ron had sensed that Harry was growing more and more distant from everyone. It was worrying him.

Harry placed his fork down on the table and got up. He had a distant sort of look in his eyes as he walked away from the Gryffindor table towards the doors out. Neville turned questioningly to Ron. Ron merely shrugged.

Somewhere over at the Ravenclaw table, Luna got a very dazed look on her face. Hailee, a girl in her year, waved a hand precariously in front of Luna's face, attempting to get a reaction. None came, and Luna continued her blank stare.

Then, suddenly, as though being possessed, Luna gasped for air, as her eyes went beetle black. She looked straight down, and was breathing deeply. Ginny, having heard Luna's gasp, and knowing what was happening, shot out of her seat and over to Luna. Ginny grabbed Luna and ran her out of the Great Hall, receiving many odd glances.

Once in the hall, Ginny conjured a stretcher and brought Luna up to the Infirmary. Madam Pomfrey ran over knowing what had most likely just happened. Luna was taken directly into Madam Pomfrey's office and the door was shut. Ginny left and headed down towards the dungeons. She didn't have the emotional strength to walk back into the Great Hall. She headed for the kitchens and tickled the pear.

The portrait opened up and there was a figure in the corner. He sauntered forward into the light. "Weasley? What are you doing down here?" Blaise Zabini asked in his sultry Italian accent.

"Oh, erm, I was hungry?" She said very uncertainly. Blaise gave her a questioning look. She sighed, "I didn't want to go back to the Great Hall."

" I don't exactly blame you, what with the whole…situation you have." Blaise said oddly kind for a Slytherin. He offered her a smile that sent a chill down her spine. Or maybe it was the drafty air down in the kitchens.

"You are being uncommonly nice for a Slytherin. I'm guessing Draco and such wouldn't know of this side of your behavior, am I correct?" She dished out at him.

"No, they don't. My father is a Death Eater, and wants me to join them. I think that it is quite possibly the most retarded thing I would ever do in my life." He retorted rather casually.

Ginny sighed. " I'm sorry I lashed out a bit at you. I'm just frustrated. And I'm not exactly used to having civilized conversations with Slytherins." He smiled a bit.

"You generalize far to easily." He dropped his voice a bit, " And just between us, Potter's an idiot if he let you go without explanation." He placed his hand on her shoulder and headed towards the door. "See you around..Ginny." And with that, he left.

Draco had been away from Hogwarts for a few days now. It was supposed to be his time to be initiated, but he refused to get the morbid looking tattoo. This had not gone over well with his father when he had told him the last 5 times.

Lucius Malfoy had taken to a new addiction, abusing his son. Draco had been hit countless times with a stick, his father's fists, and plenty of curses that would make your blood boil to even imagine.

The door downstairs slammed. "DRACO!" Yelled an angry voice. "GET YOUR BLOODY ARROGANT ARSE DOWN HERE NOW!"

Draco reluctantly got up and put a black t-shirt on. He trudged down the stairs taking as much time as he possibly could. Each step was sure to get him hit again.

Finally, he reached the bottom of the stairs, but was sent soaring across the entrance hall into the wall.

He heard a crack as his shoulder popped out of its socket. He crumpled to the floor, his face twisted in pain. A bruise started forming on his head. Strong hands gripped around his neck. He felt his senses begin fading.

His hand felt around until he found a wand. Jabbing it forward, he muttered a jinx with his last breath and then fainted.

_**A/N: Ok so I made another cliffhanger, so sue me . Review please, I know more people read this than review!!! Love you ALL! Merry Christmas!!!!**_


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